all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You may now shotgun with the bride
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
