my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
