none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
