I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
