He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
whose ass print is on the piano?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
