I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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