Kiss
Puke
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
