Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize