You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
