So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
