I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
