I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
