so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize