just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
