Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
