how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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