I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
