Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
her vagine was all disorganized.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
