VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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