He uses pillows to masturbate.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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