hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
