Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
