white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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