But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
