maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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