she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
