member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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