Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
