HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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