your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I smell like Dick and happiness
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
