FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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