Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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