shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
