she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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