I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
