Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
