His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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