Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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