I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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