Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize