Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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