So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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