But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Non-Jews are for practice
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
