Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize