I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize