We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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