I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
