Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if only i could text you this smell
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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