She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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