And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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