Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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