Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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