the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
