im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize