i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
