Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize