im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize