People in love make me want to vomit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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