New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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