how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
