come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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