Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
