I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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