He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
