I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
