we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
