And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
