i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
