If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
